he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
