I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
