I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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