never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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