worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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