I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
