last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
