You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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