All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize