with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
