My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
