brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I didn't notice because vodka
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Im part way to drunk.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
