just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
a search helicopter?!
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
