there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
