Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Randomize
