I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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