farters have to be the big spoon...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
