maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
