If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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