She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
