The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
