Non-Jews are for practice
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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