shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
