also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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