I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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