how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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