This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
