who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
