Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys

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(702): View more from Nevada

She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.

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(449): View more from

Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...

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