I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
