I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
