yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
