I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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