Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
