I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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