she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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