The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
