Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
