playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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