Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
