Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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