How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
