Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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