if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
