Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
