Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
