Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
