Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
