Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
