I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
