wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
