I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
