it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
