what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
