I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
