The maid of honor just puked.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
