Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Two words: blizzard sex
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
