We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I have feelings that need drinking.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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