I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
They took my balls.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
