but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
